One of the toughest relationships of my life has been the one with time.
I’ve always felt like I was living in the future, trying to drag the present (kicking and screaming) to a place I imagine in my head. Somewhat exhausting.
At the same time, I’ve always been hyper-aware of how little time I have to achieve my goals and to experience the things I want to experience. Part of it is being conscious of my inevitable death, but part of it is also based on some inexplicable belief that I may get very ill at around 40.
Yesterday I got another bought of the man-flu. Whenever I get it, I have a terrible night of nausea that really ruins my night/day. I can’t imagine having something more serious that lasts for a sustained period of time. A real illness that gets in the way of my agency and experience. It’s an ongoing fear that is part of the motivation behind everything I do.
An internal monologue of “Move fast. Hustle. Up-and-to-the-right. Don’t take the time and health for granted.”
Health, and time, are the most precious resources of all.
Appreciate what you have and get shit done.