I found Aliya on Bumble just after coming back to Australia from Silicon Valley - October 2017. I thought she was gorgeous. So not wanting to leave our connection to chance, I made the risky decision to do something I’d never done before; find her on Facebook and send her a *wave*. It was one of those things that could have been disastrous but, to my surprise and delight, she was curious about me and optimistic about getting to know someone new. I later learned that this curiosity and optimism was a typical of her beautiful personality.
So rather than be wary or skeptical, she enthusiastically wrote back “hello, how are you?”.
After a few days of small-talk, we committed to meeting up “one day soon”.
It turned out we didn’t have to wait too long. She messaged me spontaneously after some errands in the city near my apartment. When I texted back suggesting we meet at a coffeehouse-style café chain called the Coffee Club, her reply was an immediate and emphatic “no way! I’m not meeting you at the Coffee Club.”
That was my first real impression of her. A snooty, stubborn and combative woman who was likely to be extremely frustrating to hang out with. I figured there was no way this could go very far.
Instead, what I’ve come to understand is that Aliya is actually a person of high integrity, tenacity with a clear, articulate voice that she shares with strangers and loved ones alike. She lights up any room she walks into and makes fast friends of the people who come into her life - however briefly.
Our first date was pretty typical. We both talked a million miles an hour about our strengths, weaknesses, frustrations and flirtations. I was immediately struck by how clever and entrepreneurial she was - defying the limitations of her circumstances at every turn.
Our second and third dates, however, were a little more unusual.
On our second date Aliya insisted that my dishes musn’t stay dirty in the sink, so she did them for me. Then she insisted on taking me shopping for new clothes because, apparently, my limited wardrobe was insufficient for a man of my age and a potential boyfriend.
On our third date, Aliya took me to shop for essentials for my apartment because, apparently, it was very bare and not homey.
While some people might find these observations and excursions to be odd or confronting (especially from someone you had just met!), I found them extremely endearing and amusing, and eventually came to understand them as an early glimpse into to the truth of our relationship: We make each other better people.
We help each other to see the other’s blind spots and proactively work together to grow and evolve as partners in crime. In only a relatively short time, we have organized and navigated parties, birthdays, staycations, apartment renovations, budgets, purchasing cars, religious/cultural differences, future plans for children and so much more with the kind of levity and spirit of cooperation that one could only dream of when thinking of their future partner. More than this, though, we’ve pushed each other to consider new perspectives and try new things far outside our respective comfort zones.
But really, when it’s all said and done, my favorite part of our time together is the quiet little moments, cuddled up, showing her my favorite TV shows - especially Star Trek.
I can’t wait to spend my life with this beautiful and thoughtful woman as husband and wife.
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One final note: I hope you enjoy the cheesy engagement video (that my amazing friend Jacob Beemer made for us) where you can get the obligatory glimpse of the ring and Aliya’s new, inexplicable and persistent head itch that seems to only be satisfied when scratched with her left hand. Send medical help!
Click the link below to watch